Feelings Never Disappear
by jc720122
Summary: JJ has lost of the love of her life. The only thing holding her together is her daughter Calli, who wishes that her mommy would come back, so her Mama would smile like she used... what happens when that comes true? Initial Character death...
1. Chapter 1

Hey, this idea has been in my head and bugging me for a while now... This will be my first CM story... Love JJ and Emily and since they will no longer be in the show for the whole season... I'm left with my versions of them! Hope you guys like this story... I'm new and haven't found a Beta yet... so bare with me!

Summary: JJ has been dealing with the lost of the love of her live. Trying to hold on strong and to be their for their now four year old daughter Calli, JJ had finally gotten her footing back in place when reality comes slapping her in the face. An unforeseen confrontation gives JJ another opportunity to come face to face with her past, but second chances does not come without consequences… can their love bet everything life has to through at them?

Disclaimer: All characters except CJ and Kelly Johnson are the sole properties of CM and CBS.

Chapter 1:

The sun was up high as it shined down making the grass ten times greener. Two pairs of sky blue eyes followed the alignment of the light as they walked hand in hand alongside the spring breezes.

Following right behind them, arms filled with flowers and drinks were nonetheless the two of the sweetest guys known in the Quantico, Behavior Analyst Unit. Derek Morgan, the one and only chocolate God, as Penelope Garcia would call it, was pulling the small portable gas grill with one hand while the other was holding onto the love of his life; Garcia. Garcia on the other hand was holding onto Jack, who was helping her with the bag filled with plates and utensils.

Spencer Reid, who was known to be the shy and no to smooth behaviorist of the group was holding a box filled with soda and coffee, while he held on tight to his yearlong girlfriend, Kelly Johnson. Kelly on the other hand, was holding a box filled with snacks and soft sandwiches. Kelly was originally the newest addition to the family team. Captured by the intriguing personality that made Reid the adorable geek, Kelly subtly encouraged him to ask her out, and the end was history.

Dragging in behind them, were the two older behaviorists, the all-knowing David Rossi, and their boss, Aaron Hotchner. Rossi has aged slightly as he was suffering from some internal struggles, but these struggles were usually cured by the one smile of a young brunette with sparkly blue eyes. Hotch have recently finally decide to pass out some of the work load down to both Rossi and Morgan in order to guarantee more time with Jack. After everything that had happened, Hotch knew that nothing could come before Jack, the lost of a mother was enough, and Hotch knew that Jack did not need to be foreign with his father either. These two men were having some difficulties with trying to carry the canopy and all the chairs that they were all suppose to sit on.

It was that day again, it has become tradition to come to this nice open location, where they would set up right next to their destination and have a small picnic. Morgan and Rossi would get the grill as Hotch and Reid would set up the table. Garcia and Kelly would set up the plates and utensils around the table and set settles. And just like the years before, the two blue-eyed beauties would sit right next to them on the group and they talked and reported their lives to the lonely object in front of them that was their destination.

"Calli, what did you want to say today?" JJ asked as she held the young four year old on her knees between her and the cold stone that was in front of her. The gorgeous young brunette nodded as she wiggled closer to the stone and held her small palm as she graces her small fingers along the picture that was right above the name that still haunts JJ's eyes.

"I wonth tu dell mommy dat I was a good girl dis ear and dat my bicture goth a duper-thdar dicker on it! Did you bing ith mama? I need to thow ith tu mommy!" the little girl was shouting with excitement and turned to her head to JJ looking for the sign that her mama had brought her picture.

"Of course I did honey, it's in your backpack, why don't you go over to Auntie Kelly's and ask her to get it out for you so you can show your mommy the beautiful picture?" JJ said as her smile grew with the same excitement that her daughter was generating when it came to impressing her mother. With that, Calli stood up from her lap and raced as fast as her little legs could carry towards where Kelly was.

Turing back from the sight of her daughter and Kelly, JJ turned towards the stone, and now glazed her fingers along the smile that was staring back at her from the photo. "I miss you babe. I know I should have visited more often, but the cases have just been piling up and with Calli starting pre-school, I struggling with time. Speaking of Calli, can you believe how big she's gotten? I mean, I can't believe it… I still remember the day when we brought her home, seems like it was just yesterday…" as JJ was going to continue, Calli came running back with her picture in hand, jumping onto JJ and causing her mother to almost topple over.

"Mommy, luuk ath my bicture! Dare isth a duper-thdar on it. Da deether thaid dat I did a grathe job on ith. Luuk, disth isth you mommy, and disth isth mama, dare isth me!" Calli stated as she showed her mommy her picture, JJ who was holding onto the little girl was giggling along with the toddler. Turning towards JJ, Calli looked at her mama and asked, "Mama, du you dink dat Mommy noz dat I'm here and sthowing her a bicture?"

"Of course honey, Mommy's always watching you, Mommy's watching over us as we speak. You just have to keep talking to her so she knows what you're doing and remember always that your Mommy loved you very much!" JJ told Calli, looking at this small angelic carbon copy of the women she loved.

"I no dat, buth if Mommy noth here, how will she no. Undle Derekth seths dat she wenth domewhere far, far away. If it's so far that she can't come home, how can she ear me?" Calli asked as she started to bury her head into her mama's neck before saying, "I wanth Mommy to come back now, she's been gone for so long… Mama, why can't Mommy come back from far, far away…" her last statements were almost silent… JJ's hand came up to stroke the small girls dark brown hair. She pressed a small kiss on her head before puling her out and looking into those reflecting blue eyes.

"I know honey, I want Mommy to come back too, but she just can't. Please remember that Mommy didn't choose to leave us, it was not her choice… I'm sorry honey, but Mommy just had to go…" it was still so hard to have bring the subject up… and yet even the truth did not seem to be enough for JJ… everyone had told her there was nothing that could be done and that her love had done everything she could to hold on, but everything, JJ couldn't help but wonder… did she?

Calli could see the tears in her mama's eyes as they were threatening to fall… reaching up to her mama's face, Calli leaned forward and kissed JJ on the check, just like how she remembered her Mommy had taught her whenever JJ was hurt or sad. "Mama, donth be sdad… I'm dorry… Mommy sdaid to neber make Mama cry…"

JJ could not help but smile as a tear rolled down from the corner of her eyes. Calli was so much like her Mommy… Always giving into other peoples feelings over her own… JJ felt blessed to have this angel in her arms… If it wasn't for Calli, JJ did not know how to have survived the last three years without the women she had build a life with. Calli was just what they had both wanted, the perfect blend of them both; with dark brown hair and sky blue eyes, she was strong and fit with a witty yet elegant attitude. She also happened to have the whole BAU wrapped around her little fingers, especially her Poppa Dave… JJ was still lost in her thoughts, as a sound came from not too far away…

"CJ, come on over with your Mama… food is ready, aren't you hungry, migget…?" Morgan shouted…

Calli turned towards the direction in which her name was shouted… her Uncle Derek was calling her and upon seeing her smile, she wiggled out of her Mama's lap and raced over to him…. Giggling as he picked her up and spun her around in the air like she was a piece of paper… "Undle Derekth… buut me down… I'm gedding dissy…"

The group all laugh as the little girl held on tight to her Uncle's neck as he started to lower her towards a carrying position where she was sitting in his arms… Morgan looked at the girl and for a moment swore he had caught a glimpse of the child's Mommy walking in the background… shrugging it off as only a emotional illusion, she carried the little girl and placed her in her seat next to Garcia…

And just as she was about to reach forward for her burger, her god-mother started her lecture… "Calli Amy Jareau-Prentiss, how many times have I told you to at least wipe you hands before eating!"

"Buth, Aundee Pen… I'm hungry…" Calli had turned towards Garcia and was working those sky blue eyes on her… finally realizing that she was still in trouble with her godmother, Calli turned towards the one person that she knew would get her out of anything… "Poppa… I'm hungry…"

"Garcia, leave her alone… if my pumpkin wants to eat with dirty hands, then she will… quit your staring…" Garcia turned towards Rossi and was just about to say something again, but then Rossi beat her to it… "This is an order!" with that, Garcia was speechless… the only thing she did was turn to Morgan… When she realized he wasn't going do anything, she turned her head in dissaproval before coming up with a smirk…

"This little devils has gotten you all wrapped around her fingers… boy, is she going to be a heartbreaker…" Garcia said, as she pulled a couple strands of hair away from the little girl who was hard at work with her burger… Looking back up, Garcia had to hold back from laughing as she and Kelly both saw the look of the guys all turned white at the thought that CJ would eventually start to date…

Not too far from the interaction at the table… JJ had heard and saw everything… she knew she was blessed to have such a great family and have all their support… life was hard after the incident and it wasn't for them taking turns with CJ and makings sure that JJ got back onto her feet, JJ really did not know where would she be today… turning back towards the stone and running her fingers along the face in the picture one more time, JJ leaned in to kiss the women in the picture… "I should get back before your daughter eats all my food too… luckily that's one thing that she inherited from me, if she was anything like you, she would be too proper to eat with her hands… hahaha…" JJ began to stand up and patted the dust from her jeans… leaning down to kiss the stone cold tomb one last time… "I miss you, and I can't believe it's been three years, but Happy Birthday Em… I love you…"

Written on the tombstone…

_Emily Elizabeth Prentiss_

_May 22, 1972 – September 13, 2010_


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for all your reviews and feedback… everything you have said has been taken into my writing and hopefully you'd like this second chapter also….

And just to reply to the question on what I meant about JJ and Emily's character no longer being together for the show… AJ Cook has not been signed back for season 6 and Emily's character has been cut short of episodes… all this was said to have been for budget cuts… I'm just sad as is… I don't know if I still want to watch the next season…

Summary: JJ has been dealing with the lost of the love of her live. Trying to hold on strong and to be there for their now four year old daughter Calli, JJ had finally gotten her footing back in place when reality comes slapping her in the face. An unforeseen confrontation gives JJ another opportunity to come face to face with her past, but second chances does not come without consequences… can their love bet everything life has to through at them?

Disclaimer: All characters except CJ and Kelly Johnson are the sole properties of CM and CBS.

**It was almost 1030pm by the time they had gotten back to the house… JJ opened the garage door and backed in… the guys pulled up shortly after, lugging in everything that they had taken with them to the Prentiss Memorial center. JJ hopped off and was going to reach into the back for CJ, when Rossi came up from behind and tapped her on the shoulder. **

"**May I take her to her room tonight?" JJ looked back at this man that Emily trusted more than a father, who is also like a Grandfather to CJ… there was something there in his eyes every time he looked at either one of them, like there was this endless sense of guilt… strangely, JJ never knew where it came from, since Rossi was stronger than a rock at the time of Emily's death… his breakdown didn't come until about half a year later… and not only was it random, it was strikingly out of the blue… and JJ will never forget the night, the great David Rossi came knocking on her door and just held his god-granddaughter as he cried soundlessly to sleep that night… realizing that she had spaced out, Rossi nudged and presented a raised eyebrow… **

"**Of course… I'm sure she'll enjoy your company more than my nagging… but no skipping on the tooth brushing… she's already gotten two cavities this year… and I mean it Dave…" JJ stated… but soon smiled as Rossi chuckled… **

**Turning towards the sleeping child who was stirring awake in her car seat, Rossi started to unbuckle CJ and smoothly wake her up… "Common pumpkin, let's go get you settled in your comfy bed okay?" **

**CJ was too tired to response as she reached up and hugged onto Rossi's neck and fell back to sleep once she was safely in his arms… **

**It took another 10 to 15mins before everything was load back into the garage and the three women were now stuffing things into the sink… Kelly had insisted that they stay and help JJ wash everything, but JJ told them that it was late and she'll just get to it in the morning… With that, mostly everyone said their goodbyes and headed home, for a quite Sunday before heading back to work on Monday. **

**Closing the door after Hotch and Jack had left; JJ realized that Rossi was still upstairs with CJ… walking up towards CJ's room, JJ could hear Rossi speak to her daughter about Emily… Rossi had always loved Emily more than anything… there was this bond between them that no one ever really understood, but it was stronger than family, that was for sure… JJ silently listened as Rossi continued to talk, but now she was sure that CJ was already asleep… **

"**I'm sorry pumpkin… I'm sorry your mommy isn't here anymore… I should not have pushed her to do it… I should have left things the way they were going to be… I hope that someday, when you're old enough to understand… that you'll forgive your Poppa… I just couldn't let her go without doing everything… I should not have made her choose between her life and yours'…" Rossi was blinking back tears… JJ knew now was the time to step in… she couldn't let Rossi blame himself… there were no other choices as the circumstances had placed them… **

"**You know that's not true… you did the right thing… if it weren't for you, Emily would have never gone through with the surgery… we wouldn't have gotten that extra two months with here as she was on the medications… Dave, you have nothing to blame in this… life… life is just unfair, as we have always stated…" JJ told Rossi strictly, making sure that he got the point… **

**David stirred, at first as he was taken by surprise, since he did not know that JJ was listening… he cursed internally… muffled so softly, that it was barely audible to CJ, a statement of "if you only knew…" shaking his head… he softly mentioned with his head that they should take this conversation elsewhere, so they don't wake CJ… moving swiftly, Rossi placed the sleeping carbon copy of Emily back into the bed, tucked her in, and moved to close the door behind him… **

**Realizing that JJ would have been down stairs by then… he started to step down into the staircase, glancing at the family that he now blames himself internally for destroying as pictures of Emily and JJs wedding, CJ's first pictures, and the last pictures of Emily on the wall… They haunted him everywhere he went and yet, there is not one day, or hour where a picture of Emily wouldn't brighten and darken his life… **

**Watching as Rossi stroll slowing down the stairs, looking at Emily's last pictures, JJ spoke up again… "She loved and respected you more than anyone… you were always the father that she never had… Don't you dare for a second believe that she blames you for what happened to her…" **

**Rossi just nodded and didn't say anything… and this was always the trend… like he was afraid to talk about Emily… fearing that he would say something that he did not want to disclose… "I know… It's just I miss her, I guess…" Rossi steps towards JJ and hugs her… "Thanks for the talk… I needed it today… I'm going to head out now… I'll see you at the office on Monday." Rossi then turns and reaches for the door before JJ even has the chance to ask him what has been bothering him these few years… **

**But there wasn't anything that she could do… Rossi has been a clam since that night of emotional breakdown a year and a half ago… No one knew what it was about, but just the fact that he became more and more restless as the days turn into weeks and weeks into months… something that resembled JJ of what others told her how she was after Emily's funeral… and strangely and pleasantly enough, they both found the one savior of their worlds… CJ… the only time that anyone would ever see Rossi smile and laugh like he means it would be when that little girl was around… **

**Hotch tried to talk to him once, nothing came out of it… it's like the only one Rossi will open up to is Emily, and it was the same in reverse… their bond made them a great team… and their way of juggling ideas made them that much of a better profiler… **

**JJ often times wonder, if they weren't the greatest profilers in the world and if they had just missed that one clued that night in the conference room, how different would all their lives be…she used to blame Emily for finding that clue… in the first few months of losing her, JJ often times yelled into her picture and ask Emily, why she had to be so god damn observant and smart… and yet, there is not a day that she doesn't dream about hearing her voice pop out a statement of revelation that will close the case… **

**Closing her eyes… JJ could almost see the lips she so wanted to kiss move and part as the sounds from that senseless voice that still gives her the Goosebumps as the memory triggers her brain for the fruitfulness of the sound. Slowly, JJ triggers into deep slumber as her thoughts bring her back to that fateful day... the day that caused her world to come crashing down upon her… **

_**Flashback: 12/12/2008**_

_**Morgan paced as he throws the file in his hands down onto the table… spilling out one of the statements taken during the lockdown when Jimmy was taken… "This is crazy… there's could not be more than 15 people there at the time, and yet, after 17 hours, we're still not sure which one out of all of them took Jimmy… we're seriously running out of time…" **_

_**Emily reaches for the statement and reads what was written horribly… frowning upon the paper… she reads 'was at home till late, alarm mal-functioned, mom came in and startled him awake and shouted she saw a picture of the boy from the school he substituted at was missing…' then she squints some more… Rossi caught this change in her and spoke up… **_

"_**I know that face Prentiss… what are you going at in that head of yours…" **_

_**Emily turned towards Rossi and shrugged… "I don't know… I might be going a little too far on this hunch…" **_

"_**At this point, a hunch is the best idea…" Hotch stated… "Try at it with us…" **_

"_**Okay… here it goes… so Hotch you remember you sent me and Rossi down towards the Dougal's place and we asked his mother for information and everything about him…" Hotch nods, and the team signals for her to go on… "So when I pulled the photo of Jimmy out and told Mrs. Dougal about what had happened to him…" Emily was going to continue, but Rossi joined in… **_

"_**She started gasping and upset and said something along the lines of 'why would anyone take poor little Jimmy… he's such a sweet little boy…', so I asked her if she knew him from Dougal… she then told us the boy visits often and Dougal helps him like a mentor or a tutor… she even says that Jimmy looks up to Dougal in a very admiral way…" Rossi was simply just stating the facts out again… "Nothing special in that there Prentiss"**_

_**Emily nods, and then lifts the statement in her hand… "No, her respond is not special, but look here… Dougal was off that day, but he was back in the crime scene, since he was included in the surrounding statement lockdown… and it reads here…" Emily reads out load the statement that she found earlier… and just as she finishes, Reid jumps from his chair and calls Garcia outside… **_

_**Emily was continuing in the room… "If a stranger comes to you and you mentioned the missing boy with such sincerity and concern… why won't you take your son up with the same integrity…? I know it sounds like far stretch, but it seems as if Dougal is trying to hide the fact that he's close with Jimmy…" **_

_**Reid hands up the phone and walks back into the room… "Wait… Emily's right… that's it… the discrepancy…" Reid shouts out… the whole team turns towards him as he reaches up towards the geographical profiling board he has up… "This was the weird thing that I couldn't get earlier… look A is where Jimmy was taken, B is where the school is… I had stated that there was no way that Jimmy could have been taken away from the crime scene and the location due to the time and the geographical distribution, but something popped up in my head when Emily shared her finding… so I called Garcia and asked her to look up if Dougal had other assets.. And it seems like he just not so long ago bought a condo which is still under construction… and this is where it is… point C… right in the middle of the two locations... He would have only needed about 5 minutes to get from the crime scene to his condo, which is why he's there in the lockdown statement…"**_

"_**Great… that's it… JJ let the Detective know that we're heading over there now… have him sent for a swat and I want the whole complex area surrounded…" Hotch stated… **_

_**They were all heading out and Emily was just about to jump into the first cars with Morgan, when JJ pulled her… "Be safe… I love you…" **_

_**Emily smiled reassuringly… "Love you too, and I will… promise me you will too…" JJ nodded and walked towards the back car with Hotch… **_

_**Once they had arrived at the Dougal's apartment, Hotch started at the ear piece… "Emily and Morgan, I want you too in the front, knock and then raid… Reid and I will go in from the back… Rossi and JJ will be right behind us, JJ once inside, I want you to go in search for Jimmy… move on three, am I clear…" and when Hotch got the reply of all clear… they jumped out and moved into position… **_

_**JJ was out in the back with Hotch as she heard Emily knock and seek permission for entry… her heart was racing and she was afraid that something was going to happen to her… but she knew she had to focus… Emily could take care of herself and now was not the time to be emotional… she had to find Jimmy… what were only a few seconds of time seemed like minutes, as the signal for force entry occurred and before she knew it JJ was in besides Rossi, scanning rooms for signs of Jimmy… Hearing clear down the hall by one of the officers... JJ moved from the kitchen and towards the room in front… **_

_**JJ could see Emily from the side and motioned for backup… kicking the door once Emily was at her side… JJ came face to face with Jimmy's lifeless face on the bed with a gunshot wound to his head… feeling defeated, JJ backed out from the scene and motioned to Emily that he was there, but they were too late… **_

_**Just as Emily was going to reach over for JJ's shoulder in support… Dougal popped out from the water-heater closet and pointed the gun directly at JJ's head… The fire was released as Morgan came around the corner, hearing Emily scream… gripping onto JJ's shoulder, Emily managed to switch places with JJ as the bullet penetrated the side of her head… another set of fires were shot, as Morgan reached the hallway… **_

_**JJ was blinded and her world was spinning in slow motion as blood splattered right in her face… before she knew it… she had dropped her gun and Emily was falling onto her… natural responses came in tact as she reached for her and they both slowly fell for the ground… JJ tried hard to hold onto the wound on the back of Emily's head and tears started to dissolve her lovers blood, as it was spattered all along her face... she was screaming heuristically and Morgan was at her side in a matter of milliseconds… **_

_**Screaming into his ear piece… "Agent down… I need an ambulance in here NOW! Hurry…! Hotch… Rossi… Emily's down…" with that he reached down and checked her pulse… hoping that it was still there… and luckily the breath that he was holding was out… there was a pulse, but it was dying… "Common princess… don't you dare die on me… hang in there…" The paramedics came, they had started to work on getting into her veins and staring fluids and everything, but JJ's hold on her was not helping… **_

_**Morgan saw and tried to subtly peal JJ from her wife… "No, let me go Morgan… let me go…" **_

_**JJ's face was streaming with tears and she was shouting at the top of her lungs… Morgan reached for her and turned her around so she would look into his eyes… "JJ, Let them do their job, it won't do Emily any good if you don't let them do their job…" **_

"_**The bullet was for me… I should be the one lying there… she should have never turned us around… oh my god…" JJ's tears were no stained into Morgan's shirt as the young blonde trembled helplessly in his arms… **_

_**Hotch, Rossi, and Reid were just standing along the side as the medics used medical jargon in front of them… Finally after what seemed like an endless amount of time… they got Emily stable enough to go onto the gurney and now they're loading her up into the ambulance… **_

_**JJ was about to step onto the ambulance, when Hotch pulled her aside… "JJ I know you want to be in there with her, but please… you and I both know that it won't do you or Emily any good… so please… let Dave go…" Hotch was pleading with his eyes and JJ knew he was right… but she could say it… she just simply nodded… with that Rossi jumped into the ambulance and it was off with the sirens going as loud as it can be… Hotch signaled Morgan and he was at her side in an instant… **_

"_**I'll take her in the car… We'll see you at the hospital…" with that Morgan held JJ as he took her with him to the car… Hotch turned towards the scene as Dougal was pulled out on a gurney… Jimmy's parents were also there right there no more than 10 feet away mourning the loss of their son. Hotch could not help but feel helpless in moment… not only did he loose his victim, his suspect was shot to death in defense of shooting his agent… and Emily was so much more than that… she was more than just an agent… she was an excellent one and now.. her life is in the hands of those working their hardest to save her… **_


End file.
